11-17-05

God is good because he gave me the courage and sound mind to get through today. He also gave me very restful sleep last night, even though I woke up twice. I had tests in history and chemistry, and I gave blood, my first success and second attempt.

upcoming events

• Thanksgiving!!

accomplishments:

• gave blood, an entire unit!
• did fairly well on 2 tests

      This post is rather unusual, because I don't really have the energy to put down all the things I would like to record. I'm really only posting because I know I'll forget everything about today by the end of tomorrow, when I might post again.
      For some reason, I have been rather mellow today. Actually, I would describe the way I felt this evening as dejected, though I'm not sure why. I haven't been doing more stupid things than I usually do. For some reason, I have simply been very introspective and contemplative, since I woke up. I rather like it, except for the fact that introspection when I'm tired makes me somewhat clingy and feely, which probably no one else but my 2 best friends would know; I try not to express it too much, because I assume that it makes me less attractive and likable to those around me, and I'm quite a dependent person, unfortunately. I thought most people were, until one of my many discussions with jOel enlightened me to the fact that most people are more independent than dependent. This, I suppose, is good, because having a dependent personality is very confusing. Which is more important: putting on a good, positive appearance so that others like to be around me which makes me feel somewhat valued (though a false sort of value), or showing myself as I really am, and risking having only a very few people want to be around me? I'm afraid I do the former more than I realize.
      And here I said I wouldn't be writing much; I guess my thoughts just all poured out. It might be kinda messy, sorry about that. Though, if you've read this far, I'm guessing you don't need an apology, since you probably don't mind a little bit of psychological jumble/jungle. =)

The rnotd is: I'm too whipped (a.k.a. 'tired')and unhyper to remember any of my random thoughts. Everything here is orderly, or at least I can see the order. =P

Actually I just thought of a random note of the hour: I am not very good at chopping down my thoughts into bite-size sentences, and not the greatest paragraph-divider ever.